An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog the cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me into a princess, I'll stay with you an do anything you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me? The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. 

I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now, that's cool!" 

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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit." 

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A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Holden when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt. 

The mechanical engineer says "Ah! It's probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!". 

The electrical engineer says "Nonsense! It's most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!". 

The software engineer says "How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again". 

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Q: What do engineers use for birth control? A: Their personalities. 

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Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer? A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.