Poem - While You Are Sleeping
About
While You Are Sleeping
While you are sleeping.
I love to stare at your face.
A peaceful angel.
With the most beautiful face and perfect skin.
While you are sleeping,
I want to plant a kiss on your heart,
Before I pull the covers up over your chest in case you get cold,
And wish to hold you.
Kisses on your back.
While you are sleeping,
The window sill above your head energetically flows down,
With messages from the children and parents you have helped.
Flows down onto your deserving soul.
A form of love I have only heard about,
But never witnessed you teach.
Only admire that your work will probably always involve helping others.
Able to help children directly, that society forgets.
Using your hands.
Your intelligence, patience and understanding.
Attuned to those that think differently, because in many ways you think differently too.
While you are sleeping.
I now smile to realize that around you are some of the little gifts I have given to show my love.
A painting of you spinning fire on a big island. Little necklaces and awkward pillow, fire toys, and your copious clothes.
Clothes that I like to fold, but you prefer crumpled around the room, in your own beautiful chaos. Each piece is beautiful. Each piece is an extension of self expression. Funny, beautiful, sweet.
While you are sleeping.
I cannot see your stunning green eyes.
Marbled wonders.
But I like to imagine that behind those closed eyes.
You dream of dancing with me sometimes.
As I dream of dancing with you.
Spinning,
Laughing.
Connecting.
Lost in delight.
Sorrows never to come.
Be-still my heart.
If there were any regrets it is maybe that too soon we discovered lust.
And that we may have both benefited more chances to eye gaze.
Our love life was sometimes a little too crazy and I take ownership in that.
I never truly learned the best ways to show my affection to match your dynamic love languages.
And perhaps we don’t align perfectly, but that is okay, and know that I tried always to make you smile.
A complex soul who craves both adventure and security.
To dance over mountain ridges, but to feel held at night by someone who sees behind her body and that she does have all those beautiful loves messages above her bed.
From parents and children. And now from me.
It's easy to imagine you as reckless sometimes. A true fire spinner, and at times a true heart breaker. But I have no doubt one day you'll be the most amazing mother. And hopefully find a man deserving of you to share your bed forever. I hope he grounds you and learns your many sides perfectly.
Of course I still desire to hold you. But that is selfish of me.
And if you truly love something you will set it free.
While you are sleeping, I will slip away into the night,
With tears in my eyes,
But a smile on my face.
A collection of photos I have of your smile which I will revisit when I need to smile.
Maybe we will stay connected in some way. Maybe not.
A year from now we could be having adventures. Maybe not.
A year from now you might have forgotten me. I hope not.
But somehow you have opened me up to love.
-- by Andrew Noske
Inspiration
I wrote this poem in June 2022. There is so much to this story I can't even. Too many tears already.
