Your inflection point in dating
Contents
About
In many ways article expands on the tall girl theory and the high heel effect by focusing specifically on what I've noticed can represent **the "inflection points" for men and women** — the age and status thresholds where dating opportunities change dramatically.
The Inflection Point for Women
Many women report that around age 35, flirting and invitations suddenly dry up. Men stop approaching, and the dating pool shrinks. Some women experience this later, but eventually it catches up. The shift often feels cruel—after years of attention, many suddenly feel invisible. This realisation can fuel bitterness, with a sense that their “prime” years were tied to age rather than who they are.
For men, who may have never had a phase of receiving steady attention, this is hard to relate to. But they also experience decline if they lack wealth or status later in life.
Successful breeding to women looked like: breeding with men of larger physical stature and high status (alpha males). Successful breeding in men looked like: breeding with women who were young, healthy, and childbearing hips.
As a former scientist, this realization changed my views. I used to judge older men dating younger women as superficial. Now I see it differently:
1. **Man's desire to breed** — Attraction to youth reflects a hardwired drive for healthy children. Even if men don’t want kids, instincts linger. 2. **Bitterness factor** — Many women past their inflection point carry baggage and resentment, which can be more unattractive than age itself.
The reality is nuanced. In the U.S., husbands are about 2.2 years older than their wives on average, down from 4.9 years in 1880.
The Inflection Point for Men
For men, the shift is less tied to age than to a formula of **status, wealth, looks, and social confidence**. A man’s dating prospects often peak later, when career and finances stabilize, but decline if those areas stall. Without wealth or social capital, older men can also become invisible in the dating market.
In short: - **Women’s inflection point** is often **age-based**. - **Men’s inflection point** is often **status-based**.
Both, however, are artifacts of evolutionary psychology.
Personal Reflection
Living in the U.S., I searched for a partner to have children with. I came close but didn’t settle, hoping to first buy a home and return to Australia. Now at 42, I’m keenly aware that while I technically could father children forever, women face rising risks past 35. That biological mismatch contributes to dating stress.
Connection Back to Tall Girl Theory
The inflection points deepen the tall girl theory — they highlight not just educational and status mismatches, but how time itself shifts desirability. Both genders face narrowing windows, albeit in different ways.
Conclusion
Inflection points aren’t destiny, but they matter. By recognizing them:
- **Women** can plan for the social/biological pressures of their 30s. - **Men** can work on social confidence and financial stability earlier.
And both can push back against bitterness by focusing on values, empathy, and shared growth instead of clinging to evolutionary defaults.
Sincerely,
Andrew Noske
