Emotional maturity scale
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The 0 to 10 "Emotional Maturity scale" below is a playful (yet confronting) look at our ability to regulate emotions, acknowledge feelings, and show up as a safe human in relationship—both romantic and platonic.
My Graphical Representation of the "Emotional Maturity Scale" (0-10)
The idea: Emotional maturity is that elusive quality we admire in others and sometimes *think* we have… until life triggers us like a toddler with a toy taken away. On this scale, 0 represents tantrum-mode: all emotion, no regulation. At the top, we have Emotional Zen Masters who’ve processed their trauma, let go of grudges, and might even hug their ex's new partner.
Most of us? We land somewhere in the middle; functional adults who might say "I'm fine" through clenched teeth before stress-eating chocolate and ghosting a group chat. This chart is not to shame, but to laugh, learn, and maybe cry just a little (but in a healthy, mature way, obviously).
Using this Scale
This chart works great for self-reflection or sending to a friend after they’ve yelled at a barista for getting their name wrong. Maybe you're dating someone who seems emotionally mature—until they start sulking when plans change. Boom. You're dating a solid "3".
The point here isn't to diagnose. It’s to gently call yourself out and grow. To acknowledge that being a “10” isn’t about perfection—it’s about taking responsibility for your feelings, having compassion for others, and being able to say “I was wrong” without spontaneously combusting.
So... are you the Yoda of emotional processing, or more of a moody teen trapped in an adult’s body? Be honest. With yourself, at least. That's step one.
Sincerely,
Andrew Noske
See Also
- Anxious to avoidant scale – Where we sit in relationships when emotional maturity hits a speed bump.
- Personal independence scale – Because owning your feelings also means owning your life.
