Poem - An Ode to Sensual Confusion at Dance
About
An Ode to Sensual Confusion (in Dance)
It started innocently
.. but then the beat got sexy slow.
You and your new dance partner leaned in
.. and it became a sensual show.
Is this a form of lust
.. or a deep pure affection.
Are you in danger
.. of feeling a sudden erection.
Are you both completely comfortable
.. or is someone pushing their luck
Should you be embracing as lovers
.. why is this as perplexing AF.
Do they want your hands higher
.. are they hoping for more.
If you roll intimately on the ground
.. will people think you're a whore.
The best ecstatic dancers don't think
.. they just explore what unfolds.
Move and include
.. is what we are all told.
But did they walk in with a partner,
.. or is that a friend or "it's complicated"?
Are you making someone uncomfortable
.. and who here have they dated?
Too old, too young, too much drama,
.. too innocent, too woo-woo, too fun.
Are they local or visiting for one night,
.. victims of trauma, easily upset,
.. or currently checking out your bum?
Is it appropriate to dance with them every song
.. or does it seem needy?
If this are few people of their gender here
.. you might feel scarcity or greedy.
Suddenly you are begging to know
.. are they compatible or not?
Bisexual, gay or straight
.. or asexual but run hot?
Would dating someone from dance be exciting,
.. or something to be feared.
If you date for two weeks then stop,
.. would it get really weird.
Do they live in a condo, a van or with their mom,
.. if things turned to sex
.. would it be casual or serious as hell.
What if two years from now
.. you're in Hawaii with wedding bells.
Virgin or vixen,
.. sexually aroused by you or always this jolly?
Strictly monogamous, unavailable,
.. or one of 600 versions of poly?
Single, married with kids, open relationship,
.. do they dance just for fun and always smiley?
Are they taking a dating-break for two years.
.. or already banging your hot friend named Riley?
Temptress or woo-woo pickup artist,
.. or more clueless than you.
Narcissist or pure of heart,
.. what is their intention with you?
So now you are dying to know
.. if this lovely sensual dance.
Could turn into something more
.. like an off-the-floor romance.
There's probably many reasons you'd never date
.. so just enjoy your moment in this trance.
Remind yourself you should try dating normies
.. yet you know nobody moves energetic pleasure
.. nobody makes love,
.. like a being of dance.
If your dance ends
.. will they immediately dance
.. seductively with another?
Would you become like a jealous lover,
.. do they think of you only
.. like a sister or brother?
Whatever you assume about their
.. pronouns, identity and relationship state,
.. is probably more wrong than you know.
The secret my friend is this:
.. escalate very slowly, stay in consent,
.. assume nothing
.. and always go with the flow.
And after the music stops,
.. introduce yourself and say hello.
Be brave enough to ask,
.. "can I please learn more about you
.. outside of our silent dance glow".
If you think your questions are unique,
.. you are much disillusioned.
Every "dance regular" here.
.. is familiar with the dance
.. of sensual confusion.
-- by Andrew Noske
Inspiration
I wrote this poem in April 2023 and I had been wanting to write this poem for a long time. Why? I just have had several moments this year and last year where and innocent dance turns juicy and I just have to laugh to myself, because I know there's a very high probability the girl is not available (as in not single), about to leave the country, lesbian, going through a period of not-dating-men, recently decided to reunite with an ex, far out woo-woo or any other manner of common things in the ecstatic dance which will limit your sweet moments to just the dance floor. It's happened more times than I can count, and if anything having a sexy dance with someone and then finding out that they are single and compatible for dating is the exception and not the rule.
I mean for sure ask, but drop any expectations. I guess hoping for a relationship is okay, but within communities like this, attractions are usually fleeting, or you might find yourself discounted because of your star sign. I've seen everything! It often makes me wish I was online dating, and that I was only interested in dating "normies" (an affection name for non-dancers), but here's the sad thing. Once you've had the dance and touch with someone who is highly present, legitimately conscious (not the pretend kind) and in many cases highly empathic. Well it is just hard to go from that magical experience to dating a normie/muggle who you might feel nothing with when you dance.
However here is the thing. Energy between two people is unpredictable. You can savor the times where you unexpectedly feel magic in your touch with them. They might be younger or older than you normally date, and that's confusing. They might fall differently on the mono to poly spectrum, or any number of other unexpected thing. Just savor the dance. Maybe write them a poem. Heck, maybe send them this poem. Maybe you'll both laugh together.
I wish my poem was better. It's a tall order to communicate all that in a poem but I really wanted to get something down for The Little Book of Dance Inspiration which I had been writing with my buddy Sam Kennedy.
See Also
| Acknowledgements: The incredible Sam Kennedy who I met in Guatemala and together we decided to write a book... but actually more importantly... I want to thank all the women over my many years dancing who have shared an intimate dance with me. One that unexpectedly went beyond my normal goofy lead, and into a fun territory to explore. They run entire week long workshops for people to explore their sensuality at dance, but this poem is free to share, and to realize what I believe to be true. Almost all experienced dancers have had this same confusion on the dance floor at least once, but probably dozens or times! We can all just smile and laugh the universe for keeping life interesting. |
