Stylish scale
Contents
About
|
NEWSFLASH: I've also published a shorter version of this article to medium.com! Please support me by adding a "clap" at: The Besotted Scale |
The 0 to 10 "Stylish scale" below is a humorous guide to where you land on the fashion spectrum – from red carpet royalty to lovable laundry goblin.
My Graphical Representation of the "Stylish Scale" (0–10)
The idea: Fashion is one of those tricky things. On one hand, I grew up in Darwin, where practicality always beat brand names, and a singlet and thongs could get you into any pub. My mum was a tomboy, so let's just say my style inspiration came from nature, not Vogue. And my grandfather? A gentleman through and through, once told me: "Clothes don’t make the man." I took that to heart. Maybe more than I should have.
But here's the twist – it turns out women do notice when a guy makes an effort. And like it or not, people do judge based on appearance. There’s some psychology behind it too – if you put effort into how you look, people might assume you'll put effort into other things, like a relationship. Totally flawed logic, sure – some of the best-dressed people are selfish peacocks – but hey, if you're single, every edge helps. Yes it seems superficial (see my Superficial dating scale), but people make assumptions about you and are more likely to treat you well if you are well dressed.
So on the rare days you're feeling brave men - you might enter the terrifying world of fashion retail... or better yet, ask a stylish female friend for guidance. Because let's be honest: if left to my own devices, some of us are one step away from matching socks with flip-flops and calling it a day.
Using this Scale
Use this chart to lovingly roast your friends, or perhaps gain some insight into your own level of glam. Do you dominate the dance floor in sequins and stilettos? Or are you a pyjama prodigy who considers "no visible holes" a win?
This scale works for all genders – whether you’re a fashion goddess, a neck-scarf-wielding dandy, or someone who still owns cargo pants with too many pockets. Don’t feel bad if you're low on the scale – maybe you’ve just transcended material concerns, like a Zen monk in a hoodie.
But if your outfit is from last week's laundry pile, maybe give it a sniff before heading out. You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Andrew Noske
See Also
- Superficial dating scale - Superficialness - is this term related to people with style, is it not? Yeah, probably it is correlated enough that you're tempted to click the link, you naughty cat. Go for it.
- Tidiness scale – Related, especially when your wardrobe is a floor pile.
- Personal independence scale – Because sometimes your “look” is just “whatever no one tells me not to wear.”
