Feedback reception scale
Contents
About
|
NEWSFLASH: I've also published a shorter version of this article to medium.com! Please support me by adding a "clap" at: The Feedback Reception Scale |
The scale below represents an essential concept in personal development: being open to and actively seeking honest feedback. Where do you stand when it comes to constructive criticism? Take a look at the scale and see where you fall.
My Graphical Representation of the "Feedback Reception" (0-10)
How to Use This Scale:
- For giving feedback: Ask someone where they fall on this scale to tailor your feedback appropriately. It's a great way to get them to reflect on their own receptiveness, and brace themselves for any of your constructive criticism.
- For receiving feedback: If you're actively seeking input, send this scale to others and let them know you're at a 9-10, so they feel free to give you the brutally honest critique you need—but wouldn’t normally hear.
The Inspiration
In 2023, I was lucky enough to experience a breathwork session led by the amazing Anna Renee. Afterward, she took a group of us out to dinner and, to my surprise, asked us for both positive and negative feedback (what went well, and what could be improved). I'd never seen that before, and I loved it - I went into a list of suggestions for her and she genuinely appreciated it. That moment stuck with me. Fast forward one year, I co-host Conscious Speed Dating with Anna, and I run creative dance workshops where I really want the same. I want to know what exercises are incredible, which to tweak and which to drop. Each piece of "this little part sucked" feels ten times more valuable than "I really liked it when". I hope never to have the type of ego that makes me believe I run the best workshops - I know they can always be improved to be more powerful by the people who experience it as participants.
When I decided to actually create this "graphic scale", however, was after a special event that I thought was run well, but I felt was missing a few consent pieces I had seen in other similar events. Then I realized.... well if I want to deliver feedback related to consent, I should have them consent to receiving feedback - perhaps as a clever way to make sure the feedback is received.
The Danger of Rejecting Feedback
When I lived in San Francisco, I did a pretty brilliant personal development course called the Atlas Project. One of its principles was giving daily, brutally honest feedback like "you strike me as needy". It was brilliant in its rawness. After the course, I felt compelled to give feedback on how the program itself could improve, so I drafted a thoughtful document of suggestions. Ironically, they rejected my input, which annoyed me deeply because the entire premise of the program was based on accepting feedback and being open to change.
Had I presented my feedback more creatively—perhaps with a visual scale like this — I wonder if they would have listened. I just wanted to be heard and taken seriously. They are struggling right now to keep the organisation alive and while my suggestions alone are not likely to turn that around, their general receptiveness to suggestions from "outsiders" just might. It's a cautionary tale: rejecting feedback is often the first step toward stagnation. Even my old company Google (once incredible with feedback) is in danger of falling into this trap, and I'm sure you can think of other organizations and people in your life who have fallen stagnant.
I hope I never fall into a place where I reject well-intentioned feedback. It is easy to do, however, where egos are involved. You get to a place where you become sure that your workshop, your country, (or that your religion) is the best one, and so how dare anyone suggest that you incorporate pieces from outside right? And even on a personal level, you might not appreciate someone telling you that the way you talk to others is wrong. That might imply you've been doing something wrong your whole life!
Set the Mindset of Feedback as Part of Self-Growth
As we age, we tend to become more stubborn. If it’s been years since you asked anyone for feedback—on your work, your parenting, or even the music you play at weddings—it gets harder and harder to stay open to change. The danger is in thinking you’ve got it all figured out. But the truth is, both people and preferences evolve over time. The music people want to hear changes. So should we.
I think it's lovely that new salsa dancers can be encouraged to ask their partners for feedback on what they could improve, and yet as dancers get experience, there is a huge ego and if you suggest to certain dancers - especially men - that they are spinning people incorrectly, they might get quite upset. What I do find interesting about this scale is that you might be very different on this scale for different aspects of your life. Maybe you are really open to suggestions about your music, but aggressively defensive when someone makes any suggestions on how to raise your kids. You are not even open the the suggestion and the possibility that it might hold any fraction of merit!
Where in your life are you the most stubborn? Is there some new skill or job where you are still at that beautiful stage where you are receptive and encouraging of feedback because you haven't put a huge ego into it yet? This scale, like most of my scales, provides a funny and deep insight into that.... and if you disagree or have suggestions on how to improve it then screw you. It's perfect already. :)
Why the Willingness to Change Matters
No system, no workshop, and no person is perfect. To me, it seems obvious that the people, companies and countries that improve over time are the ones that acknowledge that they are not perfect, and are willing to ask others what might make a positive difference, and act on it. Got a problem with mass shootings? Ban guns, like we did in Australia and several other countries, and suddenly no more school shootings. Look at the data objectively. Any person, company or country that insists they are great or "good enough", are slowly heading towards disaster. The world is changing, we must change with it. This scale represents that level of growth, and since people are often shy about giving honest feedback, we need to come up with creative/inventive ways for them to really let them know that it's okay. That we reward honesty, and not punish it. If you are part of any establishment that punishes people who speak the truth, then maybe you should leave, and find your own creative way to drop an epic warning to your friends of what lies ahead.
The Danger of Ego
Ego is a funny thing. It can make us blind to feedback, even when it's given with the best intentions. No one likes to hear that they’ve been doing something “wrong” for years, whether it's related to a workshop, a business, or even the way they raise their kids. However, rejecting well-intentioned feedback can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities for growth. How much would it hurt you to research and trial something different?
Disclaimer
This is not a scientifically accurate scale. Like at all. It's comedic, but I hope this inspires you to grow and ask people for feedback. Not to an obsessive level where you alienate friends, but skillfully and thoughtfully to let people know that you want to better yourself and everything organization you are part of. That in turn, will likely inspire them to do the same.
Sincerely,
Andrew Noske
PS: Feedback is encouraged! :)
See Also
- Graphic Scales - For more of these scales.
- Hormesis - The principle that some discomfort/poison/pain is good for us as humans.
| Acknowledgements: I would like to thank the amazing Anna Renee who runs the breath work collective and largely inspired this scale. Certainly, she inspired me to think of new and creative ways to try to get the best feedback from people without putting excessive pressure on them. It's really made me realise that the people who give great, detailed feedback and ask for honest feedback and truly special, and rare. These are the precious few who help us improve the world, bit by bit. Without them, we go backwards. |
