Toxic organization scale
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NEWSFLASH: I've also published a shorter version of this article to medium.com! Please support me by adding a "clap" at: The Toxic Organization Scale |
The 0 to 10 "Toxic organization scale" scale below is an almost uncomfortable look at how toxic your organization or social group might be. It's for that moment when you realize you might belong to a cult... and not a good one. Or maybe your group is amazing, but hey - if you ended up on this page it's more likely you realized there are some unhealthy behaviors afoot. I tried to make it funny, but if you wanna cry we totally get it. If the group/crew you are thinking of is just a small group of friends you might resonate better with the Healthy Friend Group Scale. Enjoy!
My Graphical Representation of the "Toxic organization scale" (0-10)
How to Use This Scale
Send this scale to someone who has either just exited a toxic group, or is starting to realize the red flags. And this group could be anything: a social club, volunteer group, dance troupe, climbing crew, karaoke meetup, work association, women's network, men's workshop, biker gang, sports team, charity organization.... you're probably old enough to realize that any group can turn toxic if the leadership is corrupt and starts putting their own needs first.
Before you send to too many other people though, do the work yourself to think of an organization you belong to and consider where it falls on this "amazing to toxic" scale.
Indicators of a Bad Group
How do you know when you're in a toxic group?! Here's 20 red flags to look out for:
- Normalizing sleeping around / infidelity.
- Certain people are being sleazy or trying to profit.
- Lack of transparency with money and decisions.
- Dictatorship.
- Gaslighting.
- Excessive and irresponsible drug use.
- Members are usually more drunk than sober.
- Huge egos.
- Gossip based conversation.
- Group feels clicky and exclusive and people outside the group despise you or call you a cult.
- Pushy techniques to get new members.
- Members who question methods are banished.
- Too busy partying to support each other.
- Never entering drama.
- Former members hold resentment.
- People have a fear of speaking out or suggesting change.
- People get burned out easily.
- Full of politics.
- Superiority complex and talking smack on other groups and former members.
- Emotional draining and high anxiety levels.
Indicators of a Fantastic Group
Here's 20 green flags that suggest your organization is amazing. Maybe even more amazing than you realized, and you should tell them how much you appreciate what they have created.
- Supportive structure.
- A feeling of appreciation for the whole group.
- A benevolent vision and principles. ..... ("mandatory consent" is a great one to add)
- Leadership is shared and puts others first.
- Decisions are run past everyone before confirmed.
- Kind and welcoming to strangers.
- Laid back approach to finding new members.
- Kindness based conversation.
- Not reliant on alcohol to have fun.
- Zero or minimal drugs.
- Inclusive. ..... (one of my favorite burning man principles right after "leave not trace")
- Drama free with rarely any stress.
- You'll always be complimented for doing a good job.
- You can be your authentic self with full self-expression.
- Mandatory consent.
- Everyone stays humble.
- Members feel free and encouraged to call out bad behavior.
- Sweet farewells for anyone who leaves the group.
- Members have only good things to say about each other.
- Full trust of other members - you could leave your wallet or phone on any table and feel totally safe.
So there's a pretty good list - contact me if I forgot anything. Benevolent dictatorships are pretty rare, but they do exist. Typically though, a great organization has a loving team of leaders, or maybe no hierarchy at all. What I find interesting is the idea that you could be in a charity group that could be incredibly manipulative, toxic and rude.... or a tough biker gang who are always sweet to old women crossing the street - so don't just assume a "good cause" means a good organization. So much rests on the tone the leadership sets. Maybe send them this page!
Moving Forwards with Love
It's really hard to put everything onto a single graphic, but I think at the end of the day the best group for you is the one that makes you feel supported. Listen to your gut. People who are narcissistic and harbor bad intent are often masters of hiding that intent, so it pays to keep your eyes open to red flags. Leaving a social group can be just as difficult as a breakup - probably harder in many cases - but if that group is taking away more energy that it is providing then you should leave. And yes, if you've realized the people who run your group have ticked a lot of green ticks, maybe you'll feel compelled to share with them your appreciation. Think about your history of belonging to different groups, and maybe you'll realize there were one or two members who were unfairly treated and might appreciate more than anything you reach out to say that you feel for them. Even if it's years later they'll probably appreciate it. Only hang out with people who love and support you!
What Inspired This Article
I've been part of a few really wonderful groups over the years - dance groups, environmental organizations and social clubs in my youth - but heard plenty of stories of toxic organizations. One particular friend told a story of a social group where the main organizer was trying to sleep with everyone, manipulate everyone, profit from everyone, give everyone copious drugs and when people left they were usually banished with prejudice! Pretty much all the bad things. I told her I'd think about all the main signs of both bad groups and wonderful groups and make a scale. I took my time, but here it is!
Sincerely,
Andrew Noske
See Also
- Healthy Friend Group Scale - quite similar, but think more "peer group" (like a little group of male or female friends) versus an organization.
| Acknowledgements: My wonderful friend Rebecca who inspired this scale, and for her deep conversations about friendship and support. |
