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A new support project I've started - think of it as a giant notepad.

 

Quotes

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Quotes from people I know:

Last updated: 17-May-2007

I'm obviously not going to update this often, but I believe when a friend says something you find funny - for any reason - you should write it down, thus ensuring they'll never live it down. You should especially write it down if they were drunk - or you were drunk for that matter. June 2005 I added some stuff from Brisbane - before I moved to Brisbane my housemates use to have a list of quotes written up on a huge poster - many from the "legendary Simmo" - but they were silly enough to lose it! Honestly. Every now and again I'll write something down, but most of the real gems I forget forever. Sad, but true.

Brisbane:

Nikki moments:

  • A "Nikki question": A question which reveals one's own ignorance. new
  • Examples:
    • "How many meters in a kilometer?"

Housemates 2005:

  • What's so funny a'boat my accent? -- Krista (Canadians are fun)
  • Awwww I waaannnttt onnneee.! -- Krista (something she says every time she sees a fluffy animal)
  • Noske, do you know the meaning of the word tact? -- Alby (known in Cairns as Albert, and as Alby in Brisbane; a master of hidden identity).
  • Noske, you do the weirdest things -- housemate Jess.
  • I'm sorry I woke you guys up last night; I promise I'll never drink again -- Jen (she wrote this on our whiteboard. The next day it happened again)
  • Well you find me an extra fifty dollars - which I don't have to spend on shoes or clothes - and I'll pay you to build Oscar a proper pen. -- Jen (Oscar is Jen's neglected guinea pig. Oscar is scared of anything that moves, and most things that don't move)
  • If men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, then computer people are from Pluto -- Jim Hampson
  • Noske, you do the weirdest things sometimes -- housemate Nikki
  • I didn't mean to kill the bird Alby -- Nikki (Nikki ran over a dove once, we're all pretty sure she was aiming for it)
  • You touched me in a way I've never been touched before by a girl; on the hand -- Alby MSN
  • I'm coming home early right now, just to leave a turd in the middle of your bed . and to urinate on the curtains . and in the fridge -- Albert MSN
  • Noske, you're a freak -- Jen (less subtle than the others).
  • You use to be fun Nikki -- Garpy.

Housemates - 2004 - (prior to my arrival):

  • I found these beauties on a little poster the house use to keep, with the title "famous words". They lost this poster after the move, but I discovered it eleven months later at the back of a cupboard, and typed them up.... all but the REALLY rude ones.
  • Alby, there's your hot water -- Simmo | It's hot -- Alby.
  • Of course I know how to put a "pig on the spit"! -- Simmo
  • Dude, don't you have to light it up somewhere? -- Webster (tryin gto turn on electric oven)
  • Sorry abou the 20 questions but is top of cube flat? -- Alby (via SMS about his room)
  • So where was the cube before it was in Alby's room? -- Mitch (upon inspecting Alby's room)
  • We've got to go to telstra to get the phone hooked up -- Jen | Why don't we just call them? -- Jess
  • Why don't we just call them?
  • I think I win in the bad taste department -- Jen (defiantly)
  • It's been four months since I'be seen Austin Powers... no, wait. Not four months - what're those other things called? Weeks! That's it! It's been 4 weeks. -- Simmo
  • I'm scared to fart in case I soil myself -- Nikki
  • "Celtic". Isn't that the service station down the road -- Simon
  • That's calTEX dumbarse -- Alby
  • Those corner stairs really fuck me up -- Simmo
  • Stop writing shit about me!! -- Simmo
  • Look at my boobs! -- Nikki | What about them? | -- Jen | They stick out | -- Nikki:
  • How many meters in a kilometer? -- Nikki. | Are you serious Nikki? -- Jim. | Oh... 100? -- Nikki. (before I arrived)
  • Oh THIS is my right hand! -- Jim

IMB - Level 6 - 2005:

  • We should all get together and bake some time -- Michael
  • Next time tell the bouncer "listen, I could spend money on an expensive pair of shoes... or I could spent that money at your bar. -- Rob
  • Playing guitar alone at night is for loonies -- CX
  • Well yes... more people would certainly visit your website if you called it something interesting like "clock porn" -- Tim

Sensible:

  • I think it you sit around analyzing things and looking for problems - you'll definitely find them (or at least invent some), but every relationship is gonna have imperfections. -- Rachel Woods (a cute, smart chick I met on the internet - she's real, honest)
  • If we knew the ending, it wouldn't be an adventure. -- Tanya

Cairns:

James Cook University:

  • There is a little lesbian in all of us. -- Jon Roberts
  • I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.... -- Jon Roberts
  • "Hey Jon - your revision notes are like an introduction to pre-school art!" -- Joshua Bennett (Slider)
  • "Noske is a reincarnation of kermit the frog (hence the voice)" -- Joshua Bennett (Slider)
  • My plan is to kidnap everyone and replace them with exact robotic duplicates! I am a long way from this. My first attempt might be on Josh - as no one would notice the difference between him and a small blue robot. -- Jon Roberts
  • I have a couple of spare tennis rackets (I don't play though) - one is called "THUNDER HAMMER" and can only be used by people who are willing to invoke its awesome powers by yelling its name as they strike the balls (tennis) . -- Jon Roberts
  • NOSKE - if your notes are better - send them to me. BOB - If your notes are pretty - stop wasting time and study. PAUL - if you have no notes - Here they are (stop playing games). JOSH - If you have done the 2001 notes - SEND THEM TO ME NOW! SEAN - start doing some serious study - These notes are PUMPED. -- Jon Roberts
  • It's like taking baby from a candy. -- Jon Roberts
  • One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had now way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. -- Jon Roberts (origionally Robert Firth)
  • Computer dating is okay...... If you're a computer. -- Slider
  • "If this attachment doesn't attach I will ritually suicide after cursing IMP to the deepest of pits in Hell" -- Joshua Bennet (Slider)
  • There are only 10 types of people. Those that understand binary and those that don't. -- Tim
  • Women...We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it... -- Eve
  • Your a card Noske, and you should be dealt with -- Ryan Beales
  • There comes a time in a man's life when he realizes he should stop trying to be the man he wants to be, and be the man he is. -- Bob
  • How can Lord of the Rings be fantasy - there are no naked babes in it!. -- Jon Roberts
  • Send me the deeds to your houses, mine seem to be missing. -- Slider
  • I am as one with nature. Arrghh! There's a bug in my ear! -- Scott
  • Vague is a magazine right?. -- Scott
  • "You can never truly claim to know a person until you've actually lived with them"
  • "It will be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to have a bake sale to buy a bomber." -- Anna Kintner (chick from America)
  • "Stop saying stuff about me, you're giving me a bad name" -- Robert
  • "I disagree Bob, if you want someone to blame for your bad name then blame your parents." -- Me
  • "Hey Toni - maybe we should replace you with a witches hat. It might stop more goals" -- Sean (talking about Toni's performance as a goal keeper during Broomball)
  • "You're a card Noske, and you should be dealt with" -- Ryan Beales
  • "Oh yer... errr... - well you're a calendar Ryan.... your days are numbered.... no wait... that's no good" -- Me
  • "Back up all your data and reinstall windows xp - it is good for the soul" -- Jon Roberts
  • "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you." -- Phillip Musumeci (although he tells me it comes from a BSD fortune cookie)
  • "There are no stupid questions, only stupid people" -- Jon Roberts

Before uni:

  • Noske, just read your e-mail however I, unfortunately have life of which you speak, so do not have time to write comical and intelligent response. -- Tristan Lovell (Tristan is the man)
  • Did you just touch my arse?! -- William
  • I woke up this morning and asked myself why? Why did god chose me of all people... to be the best in the world -- William

Other:

  • Never ruin a good story with the truth -- Uncle Jon

More to come maybe.....

 
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